I am weak, I am broken,

Your spirit moves and my heart is open,

I have pride, I have fear,

But still your love comes down and meets me here,

Through your love I am freed,

Through your spirit I am empowered,

Through your love my sin is carried,

Through your spirit my gifts are gathered,

The broken made whole,

The lost come home,

The healing of my soul,

The glory goes to you alone,

He use to be a great dad with a great relationship with his kids, was married to a wonderful gal, owned a mobile home, and had a steady job working in a warehouse in San Dimas, Ca. A time of financial crises came and he sought more money. He was desperate for more money. However, he fell to temptation, he went out and did something illegal to try and get the money and he was caught. He intentions were good, desiring to provide for his family, put his action turned his life upside down.

After being put in jail, he lost his wife, severed his relationship with his kids, and eventually lost his trailer. One bad decisions put him into this downward cycle. Now having no wife, not able to talk with his kids, and sleeping in his truck depression set in a little and he went back to his old habits. He had smoked for about 15 years, but he was freed from it years before. He said he knew what he was doing, but he began smoking and drinking again.

When he was 58 years old living out of his truck, he experienced a heart attack. He gets someone he knows to take him to the hospital. Waking up alone in the hospital he later found out he was lucky to be alive when a doctor told him the difficult truth about what had happened to him. There was no family in the room concerned about him, his wife didn’t even know what had happened, he told me that he remembered thinking “if I was to die right now, I would die alone.”

So Joe is jobless (and now can’t find one because of his criminal record), his wife left him, his children don’t want to talk to him, he is living out of his truck, sleeping in his cab, battling a alcohol and nicotine addiction, and fearing that anytime now his heart may cause him trouble, worrying that he is going to die alone…

That’s when I meet him, i was at an Arco getting gas for my car and this shorter very friendly 59 year old man walks up to me in old jeans and a well-worn yellow sweater asking me if he could wash my cars windshield. I told him no at first explaining that I literally just paid the last cash I had for my gas. He insisted. So I said, ok, but know I am not going to be able to pay you for this. He starts washing my windshield. I ask this friendly, but broken stranger how he was doing… His response to me “I’m doing ok, because I know that God will provide.”

I didn’t even know his whole story yet, but i thought how can he be putting hope in Gods provision, when he’s stuck washing windshields for money in front of gas stations. I ended up spending over an hour talking with him that evening and he honored me with sharing his testimony.

If a man this broken can see God in the most impossible circumstances, then why can’t I see God when I’m running behind… When the bills are pilling up… When there is traffic on the freeway… When I get in a argument with someone. .. Why don’t I see God in those circumstances. It’s because I’m afraid to listen to his calming and peaceful voice in the midst of craziness. I don’t take time to listen.

My friend Joe told me the way he knows when God he put something on his heart, he said “when I am being negative in a really hard circumstance, but something is telling me to be positive, that things will be alright, I know God is speaking to me.”

I took a look last semester at some of the different names of God and my favorite name for God in the Bible is Jehovah-jireh (or Yahweh-yireh), which means “The Lord will provide. So have faith, listen to the hope the Lord is speaking to you, despite your difficult circumstance, despite everything you are going through and have gone through, God is going to provide for you.

Have faith and call on his name for provision, pray to God, Jehovah-jireh, and he will provide for your needs.

We like our Pastor’s being healthy, right? Of course we do, we want to go to a church with a Pastor who has a healthy family life and healthy spiritual life, so he can lead the church well. I’m figuring you’ve already noticed, but a lot of Pastors don’t hold up to this standard that we have for them. I’ll go out on a limb and say the majority of Pastors are stressed out. Read these statistics and then you’ll probably get the idea of where most Pastor’s are at (Statistics Source: intothyword.org):

• 90% of Pastors are worn out and fatigued
• 57% of Pastors would leave ministry for a better job opportunity
• 71% of Pastors battle depression
• 77% of Pastors have problems with their marriage

These are the people who are leading us, helping guide us and who are suppose to be empowering us. My first reaction to statistics like this are, “Man, this is a perfect reason for people not to go to church, I can see why people view us Christians as being so hypocritical.” My second reaction is, “Thank You God for allowing me to be at a church where my Pastors have set their priorities right. I am so glad to be somewhere where Pastors take regular and consistent retreats, spend time with their families and make time for their marriages.”

So my question is, why do Pastors so often end up so stressed? Hmmmm… this is a hard question. I wonder what their problem is? Why are they so messed up? Hmmm… wait a second… What/Who is stressing them out? I wonder… Oh shoot, now I remember… It’s Me and You.

That’s hard to digest, right? That means the problem is no longer just our Pastor’s, but it’s also us. I know, this is another one of those “make you feel guilty blog posts”, but the reason is, we are guilty. No more pointing the finger at the Pastor, until the Body of Christ realizes what it has done to it’s leaders.

For a church to function properly, the Pastor must be the one who empowers others to do the work. Now, most Pastors know that and make this one of their main goals, to empower their congregation (equipping the saints for the ministry). However, the congregation (You and Me), don’t step up to the plate. The Pastor can’t do all the work, every member of the Body of Christ must be an active part. We blame the Pastor for not having this program or that program, but we are slow to step up and even help with one of the programs.

Ok, now maybe you are one of the few in your congregation that steps up and serves. So you teach in sunday school during service, work with the youth or maybe serve as an usher… BIG DEAL! When was the last time you made a significant sacrifice in order to serve at your church? I know what you’re thinking, because I think it to, “I’d be willing to sacrifice everything, oh except…”

When will following Christ become a serious commitment to us? When are we going to realize that in order to bring more into the Kingdom we are going to have to sacrifice our comfort, our security, our possessions and our time?

So next time you wonder why your Pastor is stressed out, or your Pastor has not started this program or that Bible study turn those fingers around and point them at yourself. It’s time we step up and be willing to make sacrifices for our family, The Body of Christ.

Suggested Immediate Action: Send an email to your Pastor, telling him what areas you are gifted in and ask him where you can serve.

Well that’s not the only ridiculous thing I’ve heard. I heard a Pastor say the following and I think he might have said it, because a lot of people believe it. He said, “Our potential is limited only by the calling God gives us.” I think that’s ridiculous, because it is the wrong way of looking at things.

God’s calling is not a limitation. We can go to the story of Moses, and see what happens when God calls him. Moses essentially says, “I can’t do that, I don’t have the ability.” However, Moses ended up following what God called him to do and he exceeded his potential. One thing we can be sure of, when we are seeking the Lord’s will he will be fighting for us.

“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

Callings are not a limitation to our potential, following God’s calling is a way to surpass potential. So go ahead seek God, see what he is calling you to. Be ready to say “yes” to whatever he has for you and be ready to do more than you could ever imagine. Be ready to be more than you thought possible.

The Myth: Only specific people are called to serve in full-time ministry.

At this point you’re probably thinking… “Oh great, he’s gonna tell me I need to become a Pastor.” Don’t worry, that’s not what I am talking about.

Our mindset as Christians is to serve within the context of our congregation, to minister in the confines of our local churches programs. That by all means is ministry, but it is a very restricted view of it.

As members of the body of Christ we are called to minister everywhere, within every context, because within every context we are a part of the body of Christ. Within every context we are called to represent Christ.

That means we are called to ministry full-time, all the time. Every moment is an opportunity for ministry and we are called to take it.

Dr. Wayne Cordeiro, of New Hope Christian Fellowship in Honolulu wrote in his book Doing Church As a Team, “Every member is a minister; that’s what God says. In fact he calls us to be full-time ministers.”

We see evidence for this idea in the Bible in Luke 10, where Jesus says “the harvest is plenty, but the workers are few.” You are the workers, the ministers, called to “Go into all the world” (Mark 16:15).

Dr. Stephen D. Jone of Seattle First Baptist Church said “…ministry is the vocation of all Christians.”

You are called to be a full-time minister, a vocational minister. However, our ministry vocations may all appear to be very different. Some may be called to be electrical engineer ministers (like my Dad), or you could be called to be a sales minister, or a marketing minister, or a fast food minister, or a political minister, or a pastoral minister. Wherever the Lord has you working, you are there to do more than just provide for your family, you are there to provide for the physical and spiritual needs of your co-workers. You are called to be the radical witness in your workplace.

Now let me assure you, I know this is not easy. I worked at a publishing company for 2 years and was so fear struck about what might happen if I brought up the name of Jesus that no one really knew I was Christian until the last few weeks I worked there. I wasted 2 years of opportunities to witness to my co-workers and be a light in the darkness. Sometimes I was so fearful of their reaction, that when they asked what my plans were after community college, instead of saying I planned on studying the Bible, I would say things like either “I’m not 100% sure yet” or “I am going to study literature”.

I failed in my witness in my workplace and I realized this in the last couple of weeks and did end up being able to talk with one co-worker about why I would want to go to Bible College and then discussed Heaven with another guy who had questions about it.

Now I try to make it my goal to be a minister always… At the gas station, fast food, wal-mart, target…. EVERYWHERE.

That is what you and I are called to do, to be full-time vocational ministers. This week don’t leave your church and check ministry off your to-do list, let it be more than a to-do or time on the calendar… Let it be a part of your purpose!

Often people will ask (since I’m at Bible College) how I’m doing, how’s my “prayer life”? Like a lot of Christians I’m great at coming up with comments that go around the questions or sometimes outright lying about the health of my relationship with God.

When it comes to my relationship with God, the thing I’ve found I’m best at is making excuses.

I’ve found that I create excuses about my prayer life and why I’m not receiving answers from God. Sometimes some of these excuses might even be valid, but I realized there was something I was holding back. “Well maybe I need to just ask him again.” “It’s probably not God’s timing.” Sometimes I even think to myself… “I just need to pray more intensely” so I work up emotions as I pray as if that will finally get God to respond.

I make excuses about why the Holy Spirit is not as evident in my life as it should be. “Right now the Holy Spirit is just showing himself in the small ways in my life.” “I am waiting on God to give me gifts, I prayed, now it is in his court.”

I make excuses about why I haven’t been reflecting on God’s word lately. “I’m in Bible College, I read so much about the Bible already.” “I’ve been busy doing ministry.” “Church on sunday was so good it filled me up for the whole week.”

What I realized is the reason I make those excuses is because I’m afraid to confront problems in my life, the real hidden things that are holding me back and keeping me from going deeper into a growing relationship with Christ.

So the main thing I realized that I was making excuses about, but was fearful to confront, was that I was and still am struggling with (though getting much better about) praying for my will to be done, desiring the Holy Spirit so that I could achieve my will, I wasn’t reflecting on the Bible because it wasn’t my will to.

What I am actively working on is focusing on His will. Praying for what we want is not an issue as long as our will is aligned with his. If we want God to give affirmative responses to our prayers, then we have to start praying things that aligns with his will.

We must confront our egotistical mindset and begin focusing on the heavenly Father’s will and let our lives become about having His will be done (Ephesians 5:17).

Now focusing on your will may not be the thing or only thing you are covering up with excuses, so spend time in prayerful and honest consideration of what you might doing to keep you from growing in your relationship with Christ. A lot of times those “hidden things” are actually not hidden to everyone else. When you start making changes, you are likely to hear people comment about how they have noticed the change. So be vulnerable, ask trusted friends what could be holding you back in your relationship with God.

If you are not in a consistently growing and deepening relationship with Christ then you need to figure out what you are holding onto, what you are hiding. Complacency is a scary thing, so don’t be complacent, be honest and critical about your spiritual life.

It all began a few days before break ended… I was reading a book, that my Uncle Paul told me to read. It is called Passion and Persistence, it tells the story of the second largest church in the world. The cell church format the book promotes really messed with my mind, but what hit my heart is seeing the passion in this church.

I was thinking, passion for Christ? Well I love him… right? Yeah I do! I want to be a Pastor, so clearly I have passion! Then I realized there is a clear distinction between Passion and Direction. Just that I have direction from God, does not mean that I necessarily have radical passion for a intimate relationship with God. I am headed to be a Children’s Pastor… great, but do I have a passionate relationship with the Jesus I am suppose to bringing others into relationship with? For pete’s sake, I’m at Bible College, studying about him every day… great, but do I have a passionate relationship with Jesus?

It hurt as I realized that my spiritual life is crippled, which in turn means the ministry I do is crippled. I don’t spend time in worship with him daily, I don’t spend time reading his words, I don’t spend time listening to him, I don’t spend time in prayer, I don’t spend much time with him. Sure, I’m in bible college, but it takes effort to take an academic understanding of the Lord and make that into a personal relationship. They are not one and the same.

So the last day or so of break I read the introduction and first chapter of Francis Chan’s book, Forgotten God. This book is about how we have abandoned the Holy Spirit. The little bit of this book that I have read so far again showed me how I needed to revive my spiritual life.

So I get to school on Saturday, i meat new students and that is all pretty cool. Sunday came and while I was sitting listening to Pastor Marty’s teaching about Recovery I was impacted by how I have let my selfish desires take control of the way I handle my health. From the beginning of summer to the end of the Fall Semester I went from 195 pounds to 216 pounds. I gained 21 pounds and lost a lot of muscle. I was not taking care of God’s temple. It seems stupid when I think about it, that since our bodies are so essential we would ever let ourselves be unhealthy. What does this mean? I should eat a little less right? Well honestly, I wasn’t going to eat less or start exercising, because I didn’t think I could. My spiritual life had been abandoned and along with it my ability to be discipled and have self-control.

This was all in the back of my mind, on Monday I was thinking about a different relationship that I have a desire for. I was thinking about how I wanted to have a girlfriend again and throughout the day a particular girl was on my mind.

Well evening came and we had worship night. I went to worship night ready to pray to God and worship him, but during worship I was broken, missing the past relationship I had. I felt alone. I was broken because I could see how my odd personality and being the weirdo I love being keeps me from being able to attract girls or sometimes even maintain friendships. I felt inadequate.

My eyes started tearing up as I longed for a relationship, missed one I had, and was broken from how my weird personality and insecurities often seem like they are the barrier to better friendships and being able to have a relationship.

Then God, my AWESOME heavenly father, gave me a clear image. As I was in our school’s chapel worshiping him on my knees, with my eyes teared up, then he gave me this image: I was at our school’s social dancing, everyone was dancing with each other, but I was dancing with God.

So I stepped outside of the worship service, went to my Dorm room to get paper and began to write out what God said to me. Instead I ended up writing about how much I desired a relationship. But what I realized is that I want to dance with someone, but I have yet learned to be God’s dance partner. Right then I decided it was time to begin to learn how to dance with God.

What do I believe God was trying to tell me? First, he was obviously telling me I need to focus on my relationship with him, I need to dance with him. Second, he is calling me to dance with Him, which means this season of my life needs to be defined by singleness, caring for the things of the Lord.

Truth is, I’m struggling eating less, I’m still insecure about my personality, and I still want a girlfriend, but the difference is a deeper passion for God is brewing. I have realized my lack of disciple and am making efforts to practice disciple, so I can grow.

I am going to fail. I guarantee failure will happen. However, as long as I continue to have a passion to learn to dance with God, GROWTH WILL HAPPEN. The MIRACULOUS WILL HAPPEN through God’s awesome power.

Pray for me as I enter a challenging season. Pray that it is defined by: Passion, Discipline, and Growth.

Thanks for Reading,

Brandon Maddux

What I realized is as humans we constantly seek to be full, but that’s not even what it is about… it’s not about being full, but being filled. We seek to find a moment when we have the most relationship with God we could have and unfortunately we aren’t going to find it until after this life when we dwell with him in the heavens.

We seek being full and get discouraged, falling away from God, because we feel like we never reach this point. If you want a fulfilling life, then make your life not about being full, but allowing God to fill you. While on this earth you are not going to find a point where you no longer have to put in effort into your relationship with God, it is going to be constant work, constant filling.

So lets stop seeking a moment where we are full and be satisfied with a lifetime of being filled.

Welcome to my new, much simpler, home on the web. I am so excited to be able to have a place to blog again and have an online home. For those of you who supported my last website (Children’s Ministry Live), I am so excited to have you as a part of this adventure still. For those who are just joining in staying updated about me and my thoughts on kids ministry, welcome aboard.

Honestly, because I’m in Bible College (attending Life Pacific College in San Dimas, Ca) and working the best job I could dream of having right now (for www.Kidology.org) and interning with the Children’s Pastor at my church (The Sanctuary Church) I am not sure that I will have a whole lot of time to blog. So my posts will be occasional… I’ll try to write as much as I can, but you know what’s it like to have a lot on your plate so I don’t want to over commit to this new website.

Mostly I’ll be blogging about kids ministry, occasionally just about my life, and here and there about technology. It will be a little all over the place… like my brain. I think the best thing about this website is the name. Ok, I’m kidding, but I thought it was a great way to start getting my name out there so I can more effectively bring Glory to God’s name, in which all Glory and honor is due. This thing and everything else I do is to bring him Glory. Hold me to that!

So follow me on Twitter… @BrandonMaddux

Brandon Maddux

Twitter.com/BrandonMaddux

childrensministrylive@gmail.com

661.877.5160

1. Grow Your Vision from Your Leaders Vision: It is time to step past just adjusting our visions and instead let it grow from our leaders vision. When you are part of a church, you are not independent. Your ministry is not independent. Be ready to step back and try to see things from their perspective. I’ve learned that I am great at being open-minded to other ideas, other than with ones that conflict with mine. Lets do better at being open-minded and take in what our leaders are saying. You and your ministry are a piece of a puzzle so you must begin developing your vision from that of your leaders, from those who are stepping back and watching the puzzle assemble.
2. Take the Time to Listen to Their Vision: This seems simple, but often we don’t hear enough of the vision for the church. When your Pastor is sharing with the congregation the vision for the church, you are often serving the kids. Be intentional to hear the vision of the church. Take your Lead Pastor out to lunch. Every couple months I go to lunch with the Executive Pastor at my church. He is the one at our church who’s mind really thinks the most Big Picture. However, don’t stop there. If you have a church council, take some of them out to coffee, listen and really take in where they see your church headed.
3. Pray with the Leaders About the Vision: Praying together with people really does help us become unified. When we all put aside our own will and seek God’s together our vision for the church and for each individual ministry begins to align. We are reminded that we are not battling against each other, but are fighting on the front lines together so we can bring more people to know Christ.

Having a unified vision doesn’t happen overnight, but we must work toward it. We can’t allow us to have disjointed visions, because that will cripple our church and our ministry. Our vision needs to be growing out of our leaders vision. Catch the vision, get excited about your church, and watch your volunteers get excited about it to.